Trains

So now I'm feeling really excited to take the train to Portland the end of Dec. and I'm seriously in love with the idea, no not in like, I am in love with the idea of paying for a sleeper compartment and all the included amenities (all meals, etc. ).

I may feel a little sad that I won't be able to move to Portland and right away settle into a place permanently but I am actually quite blessed with all things considered. I'll have a place to move into, and there are so many other things that I have to be thankful for, I'm thankful for all the people I now know in Portland.

...I just wish I would not love to stay up so late.

friends on Facebook

Re: Facebook and facebook friends:

I'm slightly tempted to add to my friend list all the people that my friends know that are in Portland. But now that I've thought about it for a number of minutes, I can see how that seems kinda weird. Not totally weird, just a little AWKWARD, I guess.

I think this mostly comes from wanting to know more people there and just being excited about moving.
Although...
I am now at a point of being overwhelmed with finding housing. A friend has offered to let me stay with her so that I can actually be there to find something more permanent. And I guess I'm feeling scared that the ideal housing will never be found and I just want to have my own space. I mean a permanent space I can settle in. I don't think I want to live alone, there are way more benefits to living with some people. Patient, I am not. I'll just have to be a little impermanent for couple months I guess.

I'm wasting precious homework time so I should go now.

Oregon

I was cleaning out my file cabinet today that is full of school work, mostly from highschool but there's also some elementary and junior high work in there (I was inspired by Carol Seaver who had a closet dedicated to all her school work all filed and organized). Anyway so I came upon a piece of paper that was a letter to myself dated February 2000 and it was about where I wanted to be in 10 years time. I was a little shocked to find that I had written that I would be living in Oregon. I know that I have wanted to live in Oregon for awhile but I couldn't remember when I first started concretely hoping to move.

Now I know that since at least Feb '00, kinda cool.

Mole is healing

So it's been about three days since my nose mole was hacked off and its started itching and changing colors/appearance. That's good news, right?

Season Finales and why moving is a Spiritual thing for me right now

The other night I watched the season finale of that show on mtv "the real oc" Ocean Harbor or whatever it's called and the highschool friends were saying bye to their friends and some of them were leaving to college and whoa! I was crying. I was totally weeping and I actually haven't cried in awhile. I have been taking the generic form of Zoloft for the last year and I don't think that has made me not able to cry I just use to cry ALL the stinking time and now that my emotions are more balanced I just don't cry that much. But I guess I was thinking about when I started college and I think also it's just the whole goodbye thing is always sad for me, I've cried while watching the season finales of Real Worlds, too.

I'm actually excited to move and feel some more independence from my parents even though I do love them more now than I ever have before. I feel for me like this is a spiritual thing:
in the sense that,
-trusting God
-stretching myself
-stepping out of my comfort zone
-All of these things help me to become more like Him, or more open to becoming more like Him

Kids

I've been blessed the last two days to substitute for my friend Jenny Y. in her pre-k class with many of my former "students" from my 3 year old class last year. It was nice to spend some actual class time and calendar time and reading time and practice writing your name time, instead of just playground time and nap time which has been my routine the last few months. I love the people I know here and I've been blessed with love from these people. There's a girl that lives around the corner from me that I have known since she was 4, when she was in the pre-k program at my work and she changed schools this year and is in 1st grade and she plays in front of her house with these two other girls and I always see them almost every night as I walk from the bus stop a few blocks away to my house and yesterday they were so sweet and once they saw me coming down the sidewalk toward them they kind of jumped and stopped what they were doing and waved energetically with these surprised happy faces, I stopped for a few minutes to chat with them. But it was heartwarming to feel like I was the cool kid or popular kid or something (something I don't feel that often anymore since I finished teaching overseas).

...Still...

I still haven't been assigned a location to be an instructional assistant at, but tomorrow morning I'm going down to the district office to begin my paperwork.


Be still and know that I am your God...
I have not been feeling anxious, I just have a hard time with patience and waiting to move to Portland has been a huge waiting thing and in comparison a week to hear about this job, is nothing to the months I've been waiting to move.
By the way if I'm so anxious to move why is my room not have a dent in it as far as being cleaned out and packed up?
Procrastination is my theme sin to be cut out of my life, rather than a theme verse to be incorperated, prcrastination needs to be cut out, and laziness and a lack of self control (am I really a shopaholic??)

I enjoy job interviews

So like I said the job interview last Thursday went well, then I didn't hear anything on Friday and waiting all weekend I started thinking ok maybe I won't get this job, that's ok. Then mid-morning Monday I got a call from a woman from the school district hiring office and she offered me a job at a local junior high.
So I got the job!!

But I inquired wether it would be possible to get a different placement (it's a school that's a little difficult to get to) and she said she would have to get back to me. Then I got a message on my cell at 8pm that night that she was working in it and would get back to me.

So I have the job but it's still kind of up in the air as far as where I'll be placed and when I'll start. I'm still working at my other job so it's kind of crazy having things up in the air.
But I guess having balls up in the air is better than having no balls at all, haha!! better than having no guts too.

Bye Bye Mole

I had the pleasure of recieving a referral from my doctor to a dermatologist after I showed him a mole on my nose that I was concerned about. So this morning I went to my first ever dermatology appointment and came away minus one mole. It hurt but I was excited and happy. I never liked that mole and that fact that it has grown made it even worse.

Anyway, bye bye Mole.

I'll call back in a week to find out the results of the biopsy but the doctor wasn't that concerned as far as that goes.

Job Interview

I finally sent an application to the Santa Barbara School district for the position of Instructional Assistant in Special Education (I'd like to have some experience in this field before I go back to school, to help me know if this is the direction I really want to go in, etc.) I sent it on a Thursday morning I think and I got a call a week ago on Monday morning and they invited me for an interview so I went over to the school district office on Thursday afternoon and had an interview with about 8 special ed. teachers all at once and I actually really really enjoyed it. It went well I think, they were all nice and friendly but the fact that I'm moving in 3 months put a damper on things, so I don't know, but we'll see. Whatever happens I'm fine with it either way I think.