Status

I should update my blog as often as I update my facebook status. It may only be a one sentence update, but the status can be either amusing or very telling of the current emotions or situation.

I started my Spring Quarter and I had my infant development class (I'm very excited for this class, although it is psychology - last term I had a psychology class that reminded me how blind psychologists can be to certain information because they have their theory, or because they are so transfixed on studies which can't really recreate real life situations). Well one developmental stage we started looking at today is from Erikson who was a student or colleague of Freud (and thank goodness my professor said she thinks he was a kook on most matters), and this stage is about Autonomy vs. ... something like achievement or feeling good about what you do. So you want to be independent and do things on your own but then you don't feel capable and feel bad about what you've tried to do.

So this resonanted with me because just on Monday I was substituting as an assistant to a student with special needs (she was in second grade and needed help getting in and out of her wheelchair - so I had to lift and carry her) and in case she had a seizure I was supposed to call someone. Ok I was so scared in the first five minutes of getting to the school and finding out about this student and what was required of me. Scared and incapable and very unqualified. As the day went on and the more I had to lift her, the more I felt bad about myself. It seems silly now, like I shouldn't have felt bad because it was my first day and my lack of muscle is not a reflection of my value, or whatever. But I felt bad and incapable, and it soured my whole day, I also had my first class of the new quarter that evening and I was so tired and grumpy (cuz I was feeling bad) and headachy.

March

Time marches on in March...

I picked up my apartment keys this morning and went and had a peek at it being all empty (the last and only time I saw it, it was still full of the previous tenants stuff and nick knacks.

Thought:
It seems big without any stuff in it.
I picked up free Wi-Fi on my laptop.

I move in partially tomorrow after I take a final. Yeah so Finals are here. Officially finals are next week but I have two this week, which is fine with me I guess. If I don't know the material this week I won't know it by next week I guess.

Next Tuesday I fly to my hometown and will get to visit people: grown ups and kids that I love!

Then Saturday I will begin the 15 hour, two day drive with my parents in a Uhaul truck and most of my belongings. I'm hoping I won't go insane. I'm sure we'll be safe but I don't want to argue with my dad, but he can be so illogical and unreasonable. I'm afraid. Please pray.